Know yourself...

Know yourself. Seems like really simple advice, especially when you're looking to make a life change. The problem is that we tend to get so caught up in trying to change who we are that we forget to take a look at who we are. This seems to hold true with every area of a lifestyle change, but most especially when it comes to diet. Diets, at least in the traditional sense, don't work. Sure, you can see short and even long term results from any number of "diets", but until you make a full on lifestyle change none of them are going to have any lasting effect. You can lose 50 pounds on a low/no carb diet, but as soon as you re-introduce carbs in to your life you are going to see every bit of that weight come back to you. If you can live the rest of your life that way then that's great, but I've got an inner fat kid that's always going to be there and if that little fucker doesn't get some cake every so often things get very unpleasant. Knowing and accepting these kinds of facts, as well as others relating to your day to day life, can mean the difference between lasting success or just another hurtful failure.

For those of you joining us for the first time, a quick recap. I'm a father of three, I have a pretty demanding full time job, and I go to school full time, add to that the fact that we have twins that will be making an appearance in a few months and we, as a family, stay pretty well busy all the damn time. When I find myself sitting around with what some people call "spare time" I always wonder what it is that I am am forgetting to do/neglecting. Basically, I'm really freaking busy all the time. As much as I would like to cut any kind of fast/pre-prepared foods out of my diet the sad truth is that I would likely be starving all the time. I pack a decent lunch and snacks before I leave for the gym in the morning. On nights I have school I even try to remember to pack dinner, but shit inevitably happens. I have to work late, forget to pack dinner, leave my whole pre-packed meal on the top of my car, realize that the apple I packed that morning that looked great in the four a.m. darkness has actually morphed in to some kind of sentient and angry hate fruit, etc. It's easy, in these situations, to just assume that there are not healthy and quick alternatives and run for the nearest mecca of saturated fat and shame. The worst part is, it's going to taste good. You're going to feel like eight pounds of shit fighting to cram it's way in to an extra small rubber, but dear god that sack full of grease laden shameburger was so....damn....good. So maybe next time you forget that lunch on purpose. Hell, maybe it's even a legitimate accident again, either way you're right back to the behaviors that got you all soggy around the middle in the first place. Kind of makes you feel bad for being busy all the time, doesn't it?

I'm sure we'd all like to have more free time to take care of our health in the best possible way, or to play golf and swill cheap scotch...I'm not here to judge. Being busy, however, is not an excuse to let things get out of control. Part of the problem seems to be rooted in campaigns to make us more aware of good eating habits. We've lumped all fast food in as the enemy, so the assumption becomes that it doesn't matter what you get, if it's fast food it's crap so you might as well just get whatever the hell you want. That's not at all accurate. Taco Bell has a "fresco" menu that is fairly reasonable health wise, 7-11 carries a really tasty Turkey Combo on brown bread that's under 300 calories, Wawa has several pre-packaged sandwiches that are under 300 calories (they even include a side of apple slices), Hardee's (aka, Carl's Jr.) has a turkey burger that is under 500 calories, and the list goes on and on. As a matter of fact, if you resist the urge to make it a combo at any of these places you save yourself about 500 calories just by ditching the fries. All of these places offer healthy alternatives, you just have to accept that they are there and make an effort to order them instead of typical fast food gut grenades. It's interesting to note that in a lot of cases these healthier alternatives actually taste better than the garbage that you used to shovel down your pie hole as well, and eventually you will come to prefer a chicken salad on whole wheat over a bacon cheese-burger dripping with barbeque sauce. Okay...so not every time. Sometimes you've just got to be bad, but you'll actually find yourself wanting the healthier alternative more often. You've just got to retrain yourself.

It's not easy to stay healthy when you have to grab a lot of meals on the go. Ideally we would be able to eat ever meal at home made from fresh ingredients and shared with our families. Unfortunately, that ideal is not possible for most people living in modern society. Being busy has become a way of life for most of us, but it's no excuse to toss your health down the crapper. Just know yourself and adjust accordingly.

Discouragement...

This morning was rough from the start. I didn’t want to get out of bed so I hit the snooze one extra time. Since then I’ve just kind of been dragging. Got to the gym and got started 20 minutes late. I didn’t so much attack things this morning as just went through the motions with my weight training. The cardio work out was outright tough and even the episode of Married with Children I watched on the little TV attached to the elliptical machine was lackluster. With all said and done it was just a blah workout, and that feeling has followed me throughout my morning so far. The weather is a perfect complement to the glum feeling too. Grey clouds are hanging low in the sky, bringing with them wind and occasional, completely random, smatterings of rain. It’s enough to make you put on some Morrissey and look for the nearest razor blade to remind yourself that you can still feel. That’s right, I said Morrissey, and you little EMO kids can take your My Chemical Romance and your Fallout Boy and piss right off. Okay, feeling a little better now.

The feelings themselves aren’t really the issue. Everyone has off days, and the weather outside can have all kinds of ill effects on a person’s mood. The problem is the discouragement that comes along with it. Personally, I’m at a very tenuous point in my life change here. I’ve started to see some results and not just a few tenths of a pound difference on the scale. My clothes fit better, I can see muscle definitions in places that I thought muscles feared now to tread, I feel much better in general, and my energy level is much higher. I’m still pretty far from my goal. To be fair, I had quite a long way to go, but I can’t tell myself not to get discouraged because I just got started. I also can’t fight it off by convincing myself that the end is in sight. I think that makes this a really hard time for a lot of people, you’re kind of at this middle ground where it’s just as easy to give up or cut back (the first step to giving up, truth be told) as it is to move forward. Days like today make that even harder. With everything being so blah, and the specter of a major gluttonous holiday looming just a day away what’s the point? Cutting back to just going to the gym three days this week isn’t going to hurt, right?

Wrong.

Admittedly you won’t see some huge negative impact the first week you decide to slack. Hell, you may not see any negative difference at all. As a result, hitting it so hard next week doesn’t seem like a big deal either. The week after that? Well, Christmas is only a few weeks away so I’ll get back on it after that. Maybe after New Years. All this sound familiar? If you’re actually reading this, then you’ve probably played out this little glutton’s drama more than once, undoing any progress you’ve made and making all your hard work a complete waste. You also know that with each week you put things off getting back on track is going to get harder and harder. So you’re going to have to be doing this every day for your entire life then, right?

0 for 2.

It’s not going to be like this forever, just until you reach your goal. Right now you’re trying to undo what are likely years (at least) of bad habits and poor decisions in regard to your health. Once you get where you want to be then all you have to do it maintain. Unfortunately there is no maintenance plan that includes watching Netflix and eating Cheetos for three hours a night, however maintaining weight and health is a lot easier than getting there to begin with. This part is hard, that is a no shit honest assessment. It’s a frustrating road and there are going to be loads of times where you just want to pack it all in and drown your sorrows in a pint of ice cream and deep fried don’t give a fuck, but even that serves a purpose. You are retraining yourself to make good health an ingrained part of your lifestyle. You also get the satisfaction of knowing that even though the weather was shit, you were tired, and the ghosts of turkey day delights to come are pole dancing around in your head like some kind of culinary porn you still dragged yourself though it and got yourself one step closer to where you want to be. You can’t be on it 100 percent every day, no one can, but you still made the effort and did what you had to do. You kind of kick ass like that.

Unless you didn't, in which case you can go join the EMO kids crying it out over there in teh corner.

Partial Success?

It's been a rough year, for a couple very personal reasons. Let's gloss over all the massive failure, though, and focus on the positive.

Back in early July, I got food poisoning. Seriously, that's about as positive as things get this year. Because, you see, that was the catalyst that got me started on some actual weight loss. I spent about 2 days puking my guts out, which naturally caused me to lose a little weight. Normally, one would gain it all right back. It also managed to shrink my stomach a little, so I got full faster. I made a conscious decision to stick with with small meals, in hopes that I could at least keep my sick weight off.

Also, around the same time, my work schedule changed to nights. I was working from 2pm to midnight, 4 nights a week. There's a lot more slack in the night schedule, so I was able to carve out some time to work out. Since my martial arts training had been getting stagnant, I decided to work out on the heavy bag in the dance studio downstairs. Starting with 5 two minute rounds and 1 minute of rest between rounds, I managed to work my way up to 6 two minute rounds, then to 5 three minute rounds. I was starting to feel strong and fast again, like the old days. Then, suddenly, the heavy bag disappeared. I guess it was getting in the way of people actually dancing in the dance studio.

Disheartened, I started using the elliptical machines in the gym at work. I stuck with the 5 x three minute format, walking slowly for the rest period and running as fast as I could for the work period. The elliptical machine just didn't have the same entertainment value as beating the stuffing out of the heavy bag, though, so I eventually got bored with it.

This was about the time I decided to try the Slow Carb diet from "The 4 Hour Body". I also decided to pick up kettlebell lifting, since it's something I'd long been interested in. The diet seems to be more or less working. When I can stick to it, I lose some weight. Even when I go off the rails a bit, I don't gain any weight, and I'm eating quite a bit more than I did over the summer when I lost ~10kg. At this point, I'm about 13kg down from my July 4th weight. I probably still have another 20kg left to go, but the kettlebell work has also been packing on some muscle.

I've only been doing the two handed kettlebell swing, as recommended in 4HB. It's quick, and the form is not terribly difficult to learn by yourself. Especially if you've ever deadlifted. As I have not done a deadlift since my senior year of high school (has it really been over 15 years?), I took the first few days slowly. Since I didn't want to shell out big money for a real kettlebell when I wasn't even sure I'd stick with it, I made a ghettobell out of some weight plates and some parts from Home Depot. The first two weeks, I made slow progress, concentrating on my form. I had a difficult time hitting 50 reps, even in two or three sets. Then, suddenly, gains starting happening faster and faster. On my last workout, I hit 80 reps in the first set, then another 25 in the second set. My current goal is to be able to do 100 reps in one set. Once I get there, I'm going to add another 10lb plate to the bell and work my way back up. I also just rewarded myself with a real kettlebell, this one 40lbs, so I can do some one handed exercises.

All the kettlebell lifting is doing wonders for me. My thighs, calves, and forearms are noticeably more defined than they were before I started lifting. It's also helped straighten out my posture. Like most computer geeks, I tend to hunch over a lot. Now my shoulders naturally pull back a bit more, straightening out my spine when I sit and walk.

So, that's what I've been up to. Not anywhere near the big plans I had at the beginning of the year. I don't see me getting to the 60 or 70% mark on my goals this time around. But, and this is the important bit, I have made some progress. I feel a lot better physically, and that's having a positive impact on my mental health too. Maybe I'll feel good enough by New Year's to put up new goals, or even re-tackle the goals for this year that went nowhere.

Reflections...

I used to read this Men’s magazine. Not the nudey kind, but one of the one centered around health and fitness. I had a subscription, frequented their website, and read their advice about how I should work out, what I should eat, and how I should bang my wife. It all sounded great, and the payoffs seemed amazing. Shit, just looking at the magazine editor himself was enough to make you feel like you were being handed the recipie from ambrosia from the hands of one of the gods made flesh. Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but the guy is in shape. Why wouldn’t he, and his team of crack writers, be an excellent source when it comes to how to whip my fat ass back in to shape? I was jazzed. I was psyched. I was going to DO this. I was going to start right NO-…wait…no....that’s not going to work. I’ve got to get a gym membership first. That’s going to have to wait until payday, BUT RIGHT AFT-. No..wait. The diet in here is pretty specialized, that’s going to take a trip to the grocery store. Not Food Dog either, I’m going to have to go that really expensive one that the stuck up parents from my daughter’s middle school talk about. That’s probably going to have to wait until the NEXT payday since I’ve got to get that gym membership. But right after THA-. Oh, I should probably work with a personal trainer when I start to make sure I don’t hurt myself working with the weights. Ummm…I guess I could shuffle some money around, but where the hell am I even going to find the time for this. I’ve got work, school, three kids, a wife, and a dog that all need my attention and what’s left of my paycheck. Well. Fuck.

Surprise! The guys who write these articles and edit these magazines get paid money to do this stuff for a living, and far more than I do. So they have more money and they don’t need to pry the time out of the cold, dead fingers of a load of other obligations. They talk about the time and money that it takes to accomplish these things like they are nothing, when in reality they are they are the most precious of commodities to most people. Not only do they get paid to do this shit so they can write about it, but they have people falling all over themselves to give them free stuff in hopes that they will plug them in some article. Gym memberships, supplements, gym clothes, specialized equipment, etc. Being fit and telling you how they got there is literally their JOB. It’s super easy to tell people how to get as fit as you are when all that crap is just handed to you. If you’ve got the money and the time to follow along with these guys, then I really hope you have something better to do than listen to me bitch; if you’re like me me, however, and have a job, family, and a real life to worry about then you just can’t live life like these guys.

Then there’s the other end of the spectrum. Six minute this, and lounge that, and electrocute-the fuck-out-of-yourself quick solutions that will give you big results with a minimum amount of time and effort. Tons of now hot women can’t wait to tell you how big a difference it’s made and how much it turns them on that you want to try it too. Buff guys standing next to horrific “before” pictures flexing and showing you the kind of man you want to be. All of these people standing there without a flaw, stretch mark, or fat flap even though they’ve lost over eighty pounds. So not only will you lose a ton of weight with these diets/pills/programs/torture devices/masturbatory aids, but they are old magic that can completely violate the laws of physical science. Fuck yea! I’m sure those people aren’t paid, right? They just believe in the product so much that they’ve just got to get up there wearing next to nothing and give you physical proof of this mind-blowing awesomeness, right? Right? You were so busy with your head full of thoughts about where you’re going to buy all your new clothes and how you’re going to fight off all the ladies that you missed the part where they said “combined with diet and exercise” or “has been known to cause cramping, tarry stools, and erectile dysfunction or asshole cancer or something” or my favorite, “results not typical”. What. The. Hell. You mean I can’t really get kick ass results without devoting some time, effort, or money in to what I’m doing? You suck. I don’t like your answers.

Truth is, you’re going to have to part with something. Anything worth having is going to require some level of sacrifice on your part, but you shouldn’t have to quit your job and sell a kidney (but if you want to, I know a guy) just to make it happen either. The only time I have that I’m not nuts in a vice busy lately is when I’m sleeping, so when I finally made a decision to do something real about my ever-expanding ass that’s where I stole the time from. 4 am is a bitch of a time to have to get up every morning, but looking in my closet and seeing that I can’t wear over half of the clothes I own any more is worse. So were the test results from the doctor saying that I am on a collision course with diabetes. Time isn’t the only thing that you’re going to have to sacrifice. Eating healthy can be more expensive than eating crap all the time, and if you’re like me trying to exercise at home just isn’t going to work for you. You don’t need a membership to some mega-gym and a personal trainer. We have a membership to an organization that offers a lot for the whole family to do, as well as an initial consultation to give you some guidance with your workout plan, and you’re going to need guidance. I thought I was pretty well versed in health and nutrition from all the reading I had done and one good health kick a few years ago that lost me about 30 pounds so I didn’t bother with the whole free fitness orientation thing. The first three weeks went by and I had lost exactly dick.5 pounds. I got a little frustrated and went to the orientation. Two weeks later I’m down five pounds and feeling better than I have in ages. If you think you know what you’re doing, you probably don’t. That’s fine, not a lot of people do, just get some help.

It’s not easy, but seeing the progress makes it easier. Food is a whole different topic all together, and while I’m sure that each and every one of you is completely enraptured by what I have to say I’m going to have to save that one for another day.

Getting back on track...

I've managed to make it up and make it to the gym the last three mornings in a row, well on the way to becoming an actual habit. I've tried this a few times before and I always go after it pretty hard for the first few days and then make some excuse to take a day off...then another one...then another one. I've done the same with food. Make good choices for a day or two and then "reward" myself right up to a shocking and unacceptable weight. I think the problem with my approach in the past has been that I try to do too much to start so I get tired of it really quickly. I do this because I'm results driven and impatient. If I don't see a change within a few days I'm ready to throw my hands up, say "What's the point", park my ass in front of the TV and chase a chocolate eclair with a margarita. This time it has to be different.

I gave myself a week to mentally prepare and to start to incorporate better health in to my daily life. I've subscribed to a few mailing lists and have actually been reading the things that I get from them. I took the time to accept the fact that I may not see immediate results and that I needed to start slowly to keep from burning out. I started Monday with 40 minutes of light cardio. Tuesday was light weights for the upper body. Today was another light cardio session. It seems kind of weak, but it's an immeasurable improvement over what life was like for me last week. Baby steps. I don't want this to be something I do temporarily, like means to an end. I want to make permanent changes to the way that I live my life in general. Hopefully taking the time to establish all of this and prepare myself for a slow transition that will make for a healthier me and a better quality of life. I like that the thought of that quite a lot.

Whoa

Kanji

I think I just time-traveled. I don't remember much between my last post and this one, yet it's almost February. Shit.

Immediately after my mom went back home, my laptop died. I'm sure the events are completely unrelated, but it still made it really difficult to post. Sure, I could have done it with my phone, but that's still no fun for writing anything of substantial length.

With no ability to post, and thus, no public shaming for missing my goals, it was too easy to slack off. I mostly managed to keep up with kanji and Portuguese, but even those slipped a little. My exercise routine suffered most. As in, I never got back to it after that first 4 day cycle. *Sigh*. Okay, I'm back, I promise this time. Laptop is in fine working condition, and my wife is losing weight like crazy. It's time to get to work.

The ray of sunshine has been my martial arts training. It looks like I might be hosting an official Atienza Training Group session sometime in the spring. I'm pretty excited, but now I have to get people to attend. I've already got two definite yes's at work, and I'm going to force Kyushu-Taka to attend, whether he can pay or not. I've put some money away so I can make this happen with or without enough attendees, but more attendees means a better chance of a second one of these happening later this year.

I've also expanded my training schedule. We now do a knife session on Sundays at work with a couple of the guys I work with. Thursdays we train in the parking garage behind the building Kyushu-Taka works in, while my youngest son is in preschool. Yep, that makes a whopping four days a week of training now. They're not full hour sessions, and since they're almost all at work, we can't go hard enough to get all sweaty and tired, but I haven't trained with this frequency since before I had kids. It feels good to be able to train this much again.

Day Two...

Feeling pretty good about today. Did thirty min on some machine at the Y this morning that can only be described as the bastard child born of a four way between an elliptical machine, a cross trainer, a StairMaster, and the great Satan herself...but it had a TV built in to it so it wasn't too bad.

Tonight was the Cardio and Ab Ripper sections of Power90. The cardio seemed easier than the sculpting. The Ab portion left my Abs feeling less "ripped" and more "pummeled with a hammer" but it's obviously doing it's job.

Today was easy due in part to the fact that I had the day off. Now that I'm heading back to a normal work schedule tomorrow I'm a little worried I might fall off track.

Gonna pick the Brazilian Portuguese back up tomorrow morning too.

Late to the Game

The end of 2010 and the start of 2011 have been a study in busy. Lots of good changes have unfortunately also been used as "good" excuses. Time for all that to come to a close. Tonight my wife and I started the Power 90 program. Originally we had been talking about doing P90x, but thanks to some quality advice from Chops we went with the intro program. This turned out to be a very good thing. Truth be told, I want to think that I never stopped being in the shape I was in six or seven years ago. Hell, even if I'm not quite where I was then I can snap right back in to it, right?

Wrong.

I know better. I think we all do, but somewhere in our minds we are all still super heroes just waiting for that metaphorical spider bite to come along and make us ripped and ready to climb walls. It's just not going to happen that way. Don't get me wrong, I think we've all got the power to do it. It's just going to take a lot of hard work and support.

My journey starts here. When it's all over we will be the super heroes we've always wanted to be. I call Wolverine...and I will fight you for it.

Looooong Weekend

Portuguese

As mentioned, my mom was in town visiting this weekend. I didn't workout. I didn't do kanji. I ate too much. I didn't listen to Portuguese. I also got up a 5am to drive her back to the airport, so no workout today either. I'm super sleepy. But I did manage to listen to portuguese during my commute today, so that's something.

Back to regular programming tomorrow.

Yay

High Intensity

TFW Warm Up: RPE 3, RPT 6, RPD 1

TFW Lite: RPE 8, RPT 7, RPD 2

TFW Cool Down: RPE 4, RPT 7, RPD 2

Until I hit the fifth exercise, I was going to score my RPE today in the 6-7 range. I was trying to push the pace, but I was actually limited in some of the exercises by my muscles. I simply couldn't do enough reps to run my RPE up any higher. Then exercise 5 came, and I was able to push nearly into RPE 9 territory. This all caused me to have the epiphany that RPE isn't just a measure of cardio distress. If I'm working as hard as I can and my muscles are refusing to cooperate, that's also a measure of Exertion.

I did have a bit of discomfort in my shoulders during the last exercise, and this persisted to through the warm up. Also, I did the workout at about 9am, and I'm already sore. I'm going to have a hard time walking tomorrow, I think.

I didn't have a chance to do any Portuguese, nor any Kanji. I've got family in town still.

While it's fresh in my mind...

TFW Medium Intensity Day:

TFW Warm Up: RPE 4, RPT 7, RPD 1

TFW Lite: RPE 6, RPT 6, RPD 1

TFW Cool Down: RPE 3, RPT 7, RPD 2

My RPE on the workout spiked up to 7 a couple of times, but since I was specifically watching for that, I took measures to bring it down when it happened. I kept to a slow pace throughout the whole thing, which tends to be difficult for me, so I'm proud of that. I mainly wanted to work on my form for the various exercises. This is the entry level program, so the movements are not that technically challenging, which is good. I'm still having problem with the Camel Sidebend in the Cool Down, and another exercise that's similar to the Warrior pose from yoga. Other than that, my form is improving nicely.

I'll do Kanji flashcards later, but as I mentioned, probably no Portuguese today.

Chugging Along

Kanji Flashcards

Portuguese in the car

I didn't skip today's workout, I'm pushing it back 12 hours so I can shift my schedule to morning workouts. I'm going to do Medium Intensity on Thursday morning, and High Intensity on Friday morning. I was thinking about doing some Intuflow tonight, but now that I've decided to be lazy, I'm not feeling like getting up out of my chair. I did get some stickfighting in with the guys at work again today, so that's something.

Did my Kanji flashcards again today. I'm still in the stuff I remember from last time I tried to keep up with Heisig, but it's getting a little more difficult. I'm going to have to dig up my copy of Remembering the Kanji, which I'm sure is still in a box somewhere from last time we moved. I wonder if Google Books or Amazon has it in ebook format. That would make this easier.

Listened to Portuguese in the car on both sides of the commute again, too. It's definitely easier to pay attention in the morning. After a long day at work (we're on 10 hour shifts currently), it's pretty difficult to concentrate on listening and responding. I find my mind wandering a lot on the drive home. I'm off work for 3 days now, too, so my Portuguese practice will probably lapse during that time. Meh, whatever.

Already?

Today:

Low Intensity Day

TFW Warm Up: RPE 4, RPT 6, RPD 1

TFW Cool Down: RPE 4, RPT 5, RPD 1

Kanji Flashcards

Portuguese in the car

Yesterday:

Kanji Flashcards

I haven't been sleeping much. I think I'm averaging 3 hours a night lately. It finally caught up to me yesterday. I actually fell asleep in the middle of playing with my 4 year old, at noon. Sooooo, I went to bed early last night instead of exercising. I was asleep by 9:35 PM. Part of me wants to feel bad about not exercising, but mostly, I'm glad I got some sleep. I'm still really tired, but I feel much better than I did yesterday.

I did manage to get in a round of Kanji flashcards yesterday while in a waiting room. I did another round today at work, so I'm still going strong there. I didn't even listen to anything in Portuguese yesterday, but I did follow along with the lessons in the car on the way to and from work today, so I'm good there. I even managed to watch a couple of videos on BBC's learning portuguese pages.

I abbreviated tonight's workout. I was supposed to do the Warm Up, Cool Down, and the Stress Conversion program. Instead, I just did the Warm Up and Cool Down for a total of 13 minutes. I know I used to workout at night all the time, but I think that's part of what kept me up on Sunday. I'm going to *try* waking up early enough to get the Medium Intensity workout done before getting the kids ready for school, but we'll see. What I really need to do, I think, is find a secluded place at work for this and take a half hour workout break.

Anyway, I'm kind of bummed that I already fell off the wagon as far as my workout program goes, but at least I'm back on it already.

Day 1 (all over again)

No Intensity
Tacfit Warrior (hereafter abbreviated TFW) Warm up: RPE 4, RPT 5, RPD 1
TFW Strain Prevention: RPE 4, RPT 6, RPD 1
Kanji flashcards
Portuguese

Well, off to a great start this time. I started off the morning at work searching the internet for Brazilian Portuguese videos and audio to stream in the background while at work. I found a site that lists a couple dozen Brazilian TV stations that offer streams, so I left one of them on all day so I could let my ears get used to the sound of the language. Later, I listened to part of lesson 1 on the drive home. I think I remember how to say "Excuse me". That's about it.

I also spent my break time in the afternoon getting my kanji flashcard situation squared away. I got Anki installed on my desktop and the alpha version of AnkiDroid installed on my phone. I then found some awesome flashcards that follow the Heisig method, more or less, and made sure they synced properly between my various Anki installs. I went ahead and reviewed the first 20 on the stack, which was mostly stuff I remember anyway.

Finally, after the kids went to bed, I did the first day of the first Tacfit Warrior cycle. It starts with a No Intensity day, so I the warmup and the Strain Prevention routine. The SP routine is a TFW specific version of Intuflow, basically. I think I might end up throwing regular Intuflow sessions into the mix, just to make sure I'm getting all the mobility I need. Anyway, since I haven't worked out in forever, the RPE was much higher than it should have been for a No Intensity day, but that'll come back down pretty quickly. I didn't break a sweat or anything, but it was close. Also, a lot of the specific movements are brand new to me, especially for the warmup, which explains the poor RPT. The only discomfort was in my neck, which was stiff in some planes of movement. I caught myself trying to push through it and stretch it out, which of course is the wrong thing. Once I noticed it, I stopped doing it.

Anyway, Day 1 is in the books, and I managed to make some progress on almost all of my goals. Not a bad start at all.

New Resolutions

Okay, here's a rough draft of my resolutions for the coming year. I go into this knowing full well that I won't finish all of them, or maybe any of them. Still, the original 10k reps project was a success in that it motivated me to do things that I would have normally been too lazy to do, even if I didn't achieve the main goals I set that year. Without further ado, here they are:

Learn another language

* Brazilian Portuguese - Probably buy some app for my phone so that I can listen in my car on the way to work.

Learn more Kanji

* Learn 500 new kanji this year, improve my reading/writing abilities with the kanji I already know

Knife throwing

* I think I should put some number of reps here, so maybe this will be my 10k for this year?

Get legit with the Atienzas

* Make the training group official

* Find more training partners

Exercise

* Tacfit warrior - Start at Lite, work my way up to at least recruit.

* Intuflow - everyday

* run more - after getting to recruit level on Tacfit Warrior, start running again.

* parkour - make it to the open beginner classes up in The City

* Lose 20lbs - if I can stick with the above, this should be cake.

I don't know how to quantify it, but I'm also going to try eating healthier. This may even entail experimenting with different diet strategies.

I Hate Running...

I used to say that all the time. Even when the Navy had me doing it every day. Back when I was participating routinely in 5K races and training for a half marathon. I always kind of assumed it had a lot to do with my smoking since the two don't mix well for obvious reasons. Well I finally managed to quit smoking about a year ago and I've got some extra weight that I'd like to shed so I figured I'd give it a shot. With my last cigarette being a far gone memory it should be a lot more of an enjoyable experience.

What a crock of absolute shit.

All the burning, hurting, jarring, gasping hell that I used to subject myself to daily because I was forced to came screaming back. I had always wondered how in the name of John Lennon's butthole people got ADDICTED to this crap. Seriously. What kind of sado-masochistic sickko could possibly WANT to do this every day? I imagine the kind of person that would say, "Hey, let's go for a long run and then after we are finished we can murder eight or nine muskrats and finger paint with their blood."

I managed a little over a mile before I had enough and walked the rest of the way home. I walked in, still a little winded. About the time that, a year ago, I would have been lighting a cigarette and obstructing my bodies ability to absorb that extra oxygen I was getting a glass of water instead. Then it hit me, euphoria, I still felt sore and a little winded but I felt likely I could take on the damn world with only a paring knife and an issue of National Geographic. I even did some floor exercises.

Point me toward the nearest camp of muskrats...I may just be a convert.

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Operation Pinnacle: Introduction and Week 1

Hey, folks! I haven't posted in quite a while, but I think I have reason to start up again. I never completed my ten thousand repetitions last year, but Chops' little project turned out to be a great kick-start to what had become a somewhat stagnant attempt to learn Arabic. Even though I haven't been counting repetitions, I've been making a pretty decent effort to keep last year's kick-start going.

I'm launching Operation Pinnacle, because I'm incapable of doing much of anything without a bit of dramatic flourish. I decided recently that I need to simplify my life and focus on two end states in order to enable the continuation of my career, and some personal goals that I've developed over the last couple of years. Those two end states are better physical fitness, and a much stronger grasp of the Arabic language. Here's the game plan.

Arabic
Of the two elements, Arabic is less defined as far as end state goals. At present, I'm focusing very hard on ArabicPod.net lessons. I took the leap a while ago and paid for a one month subscription so that I could download the transcripts to go with the podcasts. That ten bucks was well worth it, because the lessons are fantastic, and there's both good vocabulary and good grammar and syntax instruction to learn from them.

So, what I'm doing at the present, on a weekly basis, is something like this:

Monday: APOD lesson, BBC Xtra podcast, Arabic/English Quran reading
Tuesday: APOD lesson, BBC Xtra podcast, flash cards
Wednesday: APOD lesson, BBC Xtra podcast, AWS lesson
Thursday: APOD lesson, BBC Xtra podcast, flash cards
Friday: APOD lesson, BBC Xtra podcast
Saturday: translate two sentences
Sunday: translate two sentences

The problem that I've been running into is that I'm solid for the first three or four days of the week, then sort of slack off at the end of the week. For example, my Thursday lesson wasn't fantastic and I didn't do the flash cards, and I really didn't do any Arabic on Friday or Saturday, which leaves me playing catch-up today (Sunday). On the plus side, I'm pleased to have done both the Quran reading and the Ahlan wa Sahlan lesson. So, as far as I'm concerned, this week of Arabic will be solid as long as I do some translations and maybe a catch-up APOD lesson today. Eventually, I want to take all of this...

ArabicPod.net

Defense Language Institute language survival kits

Desert Sky Arabic vocabulary lists

Arabic and Islamic Themes in Frank Herbert's Dune

Wiki: Glossary of Islam

Wiki: Christian terms in Arabic

Wiki: Arabic star names

... and whatever else I can figure out, and put it in my head so that I can understand...

BBC Xtra

BBC Arabic live stream

Radio Sawa

... that, and all the rest of it. For now, the goal is slow but steady, trying to spend between thirty and sixty minutes per day studying Arabic. I'm doing alright at the moment, hopefully I can keep it up.

Physical Training
I was also pretty solid on my fitness goals for this week. Before the day is over, I'll do one last pool workout, and one last PT workout - sit-ups, push-ups, and stretching. It may seem like I'm starting off really simple, and that's true. My goal is nine weeks of swimming (three times a week minimum, four if I can fit it in), one yomp (hike in boots and pants with a pack), and push-ups and sit-ups (three times per week). The swimming is my best way of doing cardio (I don't run, particularly in the shape I'm in), the yomping is to increase my body's ability to walk a long distance with a pack, and the push-ups and sit-ups are push-ups and sit-ups.

My primary goals are to rebuild the stamina that I've lost from three years of sitting at a desk all day, and to rebuild my ability to walk long distances with a pack in order that I might someday resume backpacking in various locales, preferably Europe. I also want to lose weight so that I can start taking rock climbing classes, and eventually start jumping out of airplanes as a hobby. A lot of people tend to exercise for the sake of exercise, mainly focused on some sort of general "health" and/or appearance. For me, appearance is a great side note, but I've tried to design a specific program in order to meet specific goals. As far as motivation goes, not only do the goals I've mentioned help, but so does the fact that my ten year class reunion and my brother's wedding are both in early August, and I'd rather not show up to either of those as a fat boy - in the former case, I don't mind being heavier than I was in high school (I was 6'1" and 165 pounds when I graduated), but I'd rather drop a little bit of weight and be solid, rather than show up with a gut.

I'll be ending this week with three swim workouts, three PT/stretch workouts, one night of just stretching, and enough walking on Friday to basically count as a yomp - cheating, but that's okay. The big issue I ran into this week is that the first swim, coupled with that first set of push-ups, really did a number on my rotator cuffs in my shoulders. I had a one day break between swim workouts, and a two day break between push-ups, and even though I was sore doing the second set of push-ups, I think my arms have recovered. Hopefully that means I'll be in good shape from here on out.

The Bottom Line
I could easily fall off the wagon, on all of this, again, but I think I've got a solid framework established at this point. As far as blogging, I'll try to start doing one post per week as a sort of "week in review", as I've done here. The two major points of Operation Pinnacle are Arabic and physical training, but there are a couple of other elements that I may discuss at one point or another. Stay tuned.

Ahhh, Les Vacances

Today was my first class after a week in Sicily. The kids were at my mom's place for the week, so it was just Mrs Chops and I, visiting some friends. It was heaven, I tell you. Drank some wine, ate some pasta, saw some sights, etc.

I arrived a few minutes into warm ups, which kind of sucked. I *need* the warm ups, since I'm so out of shape. The instructor paired me up with the big shaved head guy, who got promoted to blue belt while I was on vacation. We then worked on spinning out with an arm bar. Basically, you attempt an armbar from guard (we'll assume you're going after the right arm here). The opponent tries to stack you, so you roll up on your right shoulder and reach your right arm back between the two of you and hook it on his right knee. Now you basically do a lateral shoulder roll while bring the opponent over you with your legs. You end up with him face down and you on your left side, facing towards his feet. This is definitely going to need a video to explain.

We then did a "what happens next" variation, for after you successfully spin out. Let's say your opponent tries to scramble over your head to twist his arm free. Before he steps around your head, you can grab his right ankle, and pull it sideways, keeping his knee on the ground. This will make him want to move. When he does, you roll onto your back, and he falls onto his, into classic armbar position. This is similar to the finish Stephan Kesting shows in the video above.

Last variation was if he tries to scramble the other way, toward your feet. This one was my favorite. Basically, you keep ahold of the arm (always, don't let that sucker go) and roll belly down (counter clockwise on your head-to-toe axis), then continue on to your back. During all this, you should manage to get your left foot hooked under his left armpit. It will kind of look like he's in your guard and in a decent position, but he's not. Put your right foot on the ground and push off, rolling him off of you with your left foot (still hooked under his armpit). He'll land on his back, again in perfect armbar position.

The last thing we did wasn't really variation of the above moves, but still working from an armbar from guard attempt. If he tries to stack you, you can move yourself out to the side. Still assuming that you're attacking the right arm, you basically stretch yourself out under him, which will slide you on your shoulder to your left. At this point, you can go belly down, but for our partner's safety, we went on our sides and finished the armbar from there.

After all that, it was time to roll. I got paired up with the shaved head guy again, and I thought I did pretty well. I managed to not get swept too much. When it came time to switch, I sat out since we had an odd number of guys. Then it was open mat, where I rolled with shaved head guy again. I focused on defense, and going slow while trying to think my way out of bad positions. As always, I spent a lot of time inside the guard. I don't think I ever successfully broke my way out of it. When he started playing open guard, though, I did pass to half guard a couple times. At one point, I even passed from half guard to mount, although I'm sure this is just a blue belt going easy on me to let me work, which I greatly appreciate. While I had mount, I went for a collar choke, which was terrible since I've never been taught that technique. After we were done rolling, he was kind enough to give me some pointers. I tried to sink the choke from way too low in mount, it turns out. I need to work on getting higher, on the rare occasions that I get there.

Once the rolling was done, we sat around and chatted a bit. Turns out he's got a wrestling background too. It also turns out that most blue belts can tell I used to wrestle without me having to say a word. He complimented my base and said I had a good top game. I think he meant "good top game for a guy who's been coming to class for two weeks". Like all the other students there, he gave me some pointers and some ideas of things to watch for. Everybody there has been very open and friendly with me, which I really like in a school.

And in non-BJJ related news, I've been getting the itch for some Kali lately. Tonight I worked with my training sword for about 30 minutes, and I'm trying to talk my karate sensei into doing some Kali with me on the weekend. I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

Meh, who needs technique?

Yesterday's class was a lot of fun. Instead of starting off with teaching techniques, our instructor had us do some positional drilling. First, we did the Human Backpack drill, which had one guy sitting on the mat, and then his training partner would sit behind him, put his hooks in and hold on to his shoulders. The goal for the guy on the back was to keep the back and get a submission if possible. The guy on bottom simply tried to get out from under the back mount. Next position we drilled was mount, which is just what it sounds like. You start off laying on your back, with a guy sitting on your chest. He tries to get a submission while you try to escape out from under mount. Last position was guard. By this point, a blue belt had joined the class, so me and another white belt took turns trying to pass his guard. Which is to say, we took turns getting swept and subbed. I think I actually managed to surprise the blue belt a little when his first sweep didn't work, but after that I was pretty much swept any time he felt like it.

After this, the Instructor showed us two techniques, both were sort of how to get to better position after somebody passes your guard. They were both a little over my head, to be honest, although I think I got a decent handle on the first one, in isolation. I just don't think I could actually pull it off during rolling. I guess that's to be expected, since I've been attending class for a whopping two weeks. After the technique portion of class, which was way shorter than usual, we got to rolling. I rolled with another new white belt, which was nice. It felt nice to not get schooled as badly as I did on Tuesday. Next round I rolled with one of the bigger white belts, who's been doing this for a while. Again, I concentrated on trying to relax and breathe. He choked me once or twice, and I seem to recall getting armbarred at one point, too. I felt pretty good about my performance, though. I just tried to work the stuff I know. I know one guard pass, so I keep trying to get it. If they decide to play open guard, I just pretend that I opened it and work that pass from there. The big guy got mount on me at one point, and I was able to bridge and roll out of it. It wasn't done exactly as we were taught, but I think I caught him off guard there as he was trying for a choke.

After that, I kind of hung out and caught my breath for a little while. Eventually, the older guy white belt asked me if I wanted to roll, and we rolled for what seemed like an hour. In reality, it was probably 10 or 15 minutes. I worked a lot on trying to keep my base under me in guard and not get swept, but when he started chaining sweeps, over I went. He did compliment me on my base, which he said is common in people with a wrestling background. He showed me a couple tips to make it even harder for me to get swept, which was cool. I tapped to a triangle at one point even though it wasn't locked in, just because I didn't know how to get out of it. He then showed me a couple options to try to get out.

Overall, it was a really fun class. I'm starting to feel very much at home there. The other students are awesome. They're always willing to help you out and show you where you're going wrong. The Instructor is very friendly and easy to approach with questions.

Somebody's got a case of the Ouchies

Double class day again yesterday. I seriously only ever intended to do bjj on mon/wed/fri, and karate on tue/thur, but I'm having a hard time getting to Monday class. Beefy couldn't make it yesterday, so I was on my own. I showed up a couple minutes before class, and I was the only person there. I warmed up a little by kicking the heavy bag, and eventually two other students showed up.

After warmups, we started with armbar from mount. First, put your hands on opponent's sternum, one arm between his, the other arm going around outside of the arm you want to break. We'll call it the right arm today, for example's sake. Your left arm will be circling around the outside of his right arm, with your left hand planted on top of your right hand, on top of his sternum. Now, turn to your right, getting off of your right knee and onto your right foot. Bring that foot right up to his ribcage. Bring your left knee right up to the right side of his head. Next, lean forward, putting your weight on your hands and right foot while swinging your left foot around and over his head. You should keep low, with your opponent feeling your weight so he doesn't wiggle free. When your left foot touches down on the left side of his head, sit down on the mat just behind his right shoulder. Hook one of your arms around his right forearm, catching it in the crook of your elbow. Keep that tight, very tight, to your body. Use your non-hooking hand to hold his forearm, keeping his thumb pointed straight up. Now sloooooowly, lean backwards. Think pulling with your back, not your arms. Keep his thumb pointed up, squeeze your knees together, don't cross your feet and he will tap.

Next was a defense after the armbar was sunk. Now we'll be the guy on bottom, with our opponent trying to break our right arm. Once he's spun around the arm and is sitting down, reach up through his legs with your left arm and grab his left lapel with your left hand, using a thumb-in grip. Pull that arm tight, so when he sits back, he has to pull your weight with him, which will also relieve some pressure on your right elbow. Once he's pulled you up off of the mat a little, switch your hips and come up to your knees. Pinch his right knee in between your left elbow and left knee, and keep pressure on his left knee with your head, pushing it down towards the mat. You should have enough leverage here to pull your right arm out, and you can spin to side control.

#TODO(chops): Post video here (this one might be hard to find)

After that, we rolled. Although it was only my third class, they let me roll. First I was matched up with the blue belt. I tried to stay relaxed and not spaz out. As far as that was my only goal for rolling yesterday, I feel like I was successful. I know I wasn't very relaxed, but I consciously made myself slow down and breath at several points. I mainly focused on trying to get posture while in guard. After the blue belt, I rolled once with each of the two other white belts who were there. I felt kind of bad because the last round was with the smallest guy there, and towards the end of kind of muscled him around a little. I was too tired to do much else, so I basically lifted him off of me, and put him down with me in side control. Once I was done (sadly, only three 5 minute rounds wiped me out), the blue belt pulled me aside and showed me a few things I was doing wrong, which I thought was really cool. He also talked to me a little bit about BJJ philosophy, and how to approach rolling with higher belts. All in all, it was a great class. I can't wait to go back.

(And I promise, I'll put some videos in here soon.)