I never get tired of these

Back again, with another annual resolutions post. Seriously, this is the only time I ever think of posting to the blog.

First, the recap and scoring:


Learn another language
* Brazilian Portuguese - Probably buy some app for my phone so that I can listen in my car on the way to work.
- Did a little better here, still a work in progress. Since I started riding a motorcycle to work, I don't have the same amount of in-car time.
Learn more Kanji
* Learn 500 new kanji this year, improve my reading/writing abilities with the kanji I already know.
- Hahaha. No.
Martial Arts
* Continue training at least 5 times a month (yeah, it doesn't sound like much, but it's been difficult to hit in the past). Hopefully, a minimum of twice a week.
- Actually did okay with this until May-ish. Then I quit my job. Since I mostly trained at work with coworkers, this put a cramp in my martial arts training scheduling.
Exercise:
* Two handed kettlebell swing 50lbs for 100 reps.
- Didn't actually attempt this. I did managed to get something like 75 reps of clean & press with the 24kg bell, which is roughly 53lbs, so I'm going to call this one good.
* Two handed kettlebell swing 70lbs for 100 reps.
- See above.
* Tacfit Kettlebell Spetznaz PreRecruit and Recruit
- Nope. My kb training has gone a different direction entirely. I'm really happy with it though.
* RUN. Seriously this time. Complete a Couch to 5k routine.
- Fuck running.
* Lose another 20lbs.
-Didn't manage this either. I lost some weight, gained some back, lost some more. I'm stronger than I've been since high school, and my pants are the loosest they've been since 2003. So, didn't make the goal, but achieved the spirit of the goal.

The theme of 2012 for me was apparently "changes". I quit my job, got a new, awesomer job. I continued my kettlebell training, but not the routines or workouts I'd planned on. I decided to give up entirely on running for the near future, because it's not fun enough. I've had to drop consistent martial arts practice, but I'm enjoying learning and refining the kettlebell exercises. The only things that didn't really change from last year were my pathetic, weak language learning attempts. So I'll continue on with those.

This year's goals:
* Brazilian Portuguese - I've been using memrise.com to accumulate some basic vocabulary. I'm currently doing a "1000 words of Brazilian Portuguese" module, so I'd like to finish that one this year.
* Press the 32kg kettlebell for 5 reps. Alternatively, if I get into barbell training this year, overhead press 75% of my bodyweight.
* Do 5 pullups.
* Continue being consistent with exercising. I had a banner year for this in 2012, and it really helped keep me sane. I wasn't 100% consistent, but at least I kept coming back and making progress.
* Get below 90kg.

I'm considering taking some time off of kettlebells in order to do a Starting Strength cycle with barbells. We'll see what my budget and motivation allow.

An attempt

Trying to get back in the habit of regular posts. We'll see how long this keeps up.

When I bought my new 16kg kettlebell, I also bought a 10lb kettlebell. I figured that would be light enough to not aggravate my wife's back, while still letting her do squats and halos and such. She hasn't really touched it, though. On the other hand, my sons have gone nuts over it.

Some mornings, my 7 year old and I will do some goblet squats and deadlifts together with the bells. I'll usually do a couple clean and presses too, then tell him not to try them because he's not ready. Well, last Wednesday morning, I decided to show him some snatches, even though my form with snatches is not good. Sure enough, I wasn't concentrating and I flubbed one, which caused me some pain. It felt like pulling a muscle somewhere under my right scapula. Nothing serious, but it was really uncomfortable. Later, that night, I found that it really hurt when I laid down. The only comfortable position to sleep in was on my left side.

Finally, this morning the alarm clock woke me up and I noticed I was sleeping on my right side. The pain is almost completely gone. I skipped working out for 4 days last week, and have been kind of taking it easy this week since Sunday. I'm tempted to credit the recovery with daily Intuflow and foam rolling (well, lacrosse ball rolling in my case), but it's probably just the rest.

Status Report

So, the end of Q1 is upon us, and I haven't been updating at all. In case anybody is reading this that I don't communicate with regularly via IM, here's what's been happening...

I started doing TacFit Kettlebell Spetznaz. Only I was doing something wrong, which ended with me hurting my lower back a bit. So I took a week off, then went back to it, more carefully. Two workouts later, hurt back again. I decided to take a couple weeks off kettlebells entirely, and do a bodyweight routine, focusing on mobility. That went awesome for two whole workouts, when I got bored silly of the whole thing.

I found a different kettlebell workout online to follow, and managed to do that for two weeks before, you guessed it, hurting my lower back. Same deal, took a week off, worked on mobility and recovery, then went back to it. And re-hurt my back. At this point, I think I was in danger of going from "hurt" to "injured". I was pretty bummed.

You see, although I've liked bodyweight stuff in the past, I was really getting into kettlebells. They bring a lot of fun to a workout. And much like the fact that the best knife is the one you have on you, the best possible workout is the one you'll stick with. Even with tweaking my back several times in less than two months, I was itching to get back to the bells, so I was reluctant to throw my hands up in the air and walk away.

Sooooo, I was perusing YouTube, looking at kettlebell videos (don't do this, there's too much noise and it drowns out the quality stuff), and Pavel Tsatsouline's name kept coming up. I'd heard it before, of course, but this time I decided to take a look. I pirated a copy of Enter the Kettlebell, watched the video once all the way through, then immediately went to Dragon Door's website and ordered a starter kit, which is the ETK book, dvd, and a 16kg kettlebell. Why the kettlebell? I figured I'd keep it at work, so I could work out at my desk when I work nights. And seriously, yes, I did buy a copy of the book and dvd. Pictures of me with the evidence are available upon request.

The thing I needed most was the Break-In program in ETK. It's a series of foundation moves that builds the strength and mobility and skill in the basic movement patterns. Just doing the Break-In for two weeks while keeping up with daily IntuFlow has wiped out my back pain entirely. I don't remember the last time my lower back felt this good.

After the Break-In, you can start Program Minimum. Much has been said all over the internet about PM, so I won't go into details. I'll just say this: it's simple and fun. It's not fancy, but my body is not ready for fancy yet. I still plan on going back to TacFit kettlebell later this year, once I've gotten proficient at the basic skills of kettlebell swinging. I am also very confident that I'll hit my goals for swings.

Resolutions, revisited

Time to score last years resolutions. As a refresher, here they are, as posted in December of 2009.

Learn another language
* Brazilian Portuguese - Probably buy some app for my phone so that I can listen in my car on the way to work.
-- I did do this, sort of. I'm not anywhere near proficient, but I know some greetings and some common words. I recently did some reading exercises, so I'm getting better about sounding out words when I see them. Thanks to me studying French for a few years in high school, I can slowly figure out the meaning of some stuff I read online in ptbr.

Learn more Kanji
* Learn 500 new kanji this year, improve my reading/writing abilities with the kanji I already know
-- Nope, not even close. I learned a couple new kanji, but I'm probably off by two orders of magnitude.

Knife throwing
* I think I should put some number of reps here, so maybe this will be my 10k for this year?
-- My reps for the year? 0.

Get legit with the Atienzas
* Make the training group official
-- Came very close to this, actually. Then my personal life fell apart and I had to put all training on the back burner for several months. I'm still not sure if I'll be able to get back to this anytime in the next 12 months.
* Find more training partners
-- Nope, nobody wants to come play with me.

Exercise
* Tacfit warrior - Start at Lite, work my way up to at least recruit.
-- Didn't do this at all.
* Intuflow - everyday
-- Nope. I had a couple runs of trying to keep up with this, but nothing consistent.
* run more - after getting to recruit level on Tacfit Warrior, start running again.
-- Nope, no running.
* parkour - make it to the open beginner classes up in The City
-- Nope.
* Lose 20lbs - if I can stick with the above, this should be cake.
-- DONE. Despite not sticking with any of the above, I did this part. In fact, I lost closer to 30. Which means I still have a ton to go, but this alone has been huge.

Ouch. Not nearly as well as I'd hoped. I think I need to put quarterly resolution reviews on my calendar to remind me to get back into some of these. I'm going to carry both of my language goals forward to this year. I've got a couple new exercise goals...Oh, this will be easier to just list.


Learn another language
* Brazilian Portuguese - Probably buy some app for my phone so that I can listen in my car on the way to work.
Learn more Kanji
* Learn 500 new kanji this year, improve my reading/writing abilities with the kanji I already know.
Martial Arts
* Continue training at least 5 times a month (yeah, it doesn't sound like much, but it's been difficult to hit in the past). Hopefully, a minimum of twice a week.
Exercise:
* Two handed kettlebell swing 50lbs for 100 reps.
* Two handed kettlebell swing 70lbs for 100 reps.
* Tacfit Kettlebell Spetznaz PreRecruit and Recruit
* RUN. Seriously this time. Complete a Couch to 5k routine.
* Lose another 20lbs.

Yeah, not particularly inspired, but I feel like I need to finish some of this stuff before I can move on to something new. I do need to figure out something I can count for my 10k reps, though. I'm open to suggestions there.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Quick update this morning because I'm very busy and important:

Crunch (Legs Elevated): 25

Reverse Crunch: 20

Knee Raise: 12

Crunch (Arms Extended): 20

Seated Bar Twist: 20

Total Reps: 97

Remaining: 9801

Read an interesting article on mental feedback loops while on the elliptical machine this morning. More about that later.

New Year, New Goal

In the spirit of the original concept behind 10k reps, I made one of my New Year’s resolutions to try to come up with something measurable that I could try to hit the 10k mark with this year. I’ve been hot on my fitness goals for the last few months. I have made exercise a part of my daily life and have made permanent adjustments to the way I eat and the way that I think about food. With that in mind I started looking at my progress. My weights have steadily increased with my strength training and my cardio routines are progressing as well. I am seeing greater muscle definition in key areas and I am really happy with that. The one place, however, that I am not thrilled with is my gut. It’s getting smaller, but the dreaded love handles there still give me an odd shape. I know they are difficult (and in some cases genuinely impossible) to get rid of, but this gave me the idea that I want to do whatever I can to improve this area. That being said, I’ve decided to dedicate my 10k reps attempt in 2012 to ab exercises. Here’s today’s breakdown:

Standard Crunch: 25 reps
Standing Bar Twist: 20 reps
Decline Reverse Crunch: 12 reps
Side Oblique Crunch (legs elevated): 20 reps
Crunch on stability ball: 25

Total Ab Reps: 102
Reps to go: 9898

I’ve got some more observations about the gym this morning, but that will have to wait until later. Thanks for playing along.

Emoville in the Rearview

I feel like I'm finally putting behind me a really crappy mood that had settled over me the past few weeks. I felt unmotivated, bored, and hopeless. This didn't just relate to my fitness regimen, but overtook my entire life. I didn’t give up on any of my goals, which is a little surprising in retrospect, but I wasn’t as excited about the process. I wasn’t very excited about life. The most frustrating part was that I had absolutely no idea why. I just didn’t care about anything. I was losing weight, clothes were fitting better, weights were getting easier to lift, and I was feeling much better physically…and that was just the fitness stuff. I have the love and support of a wonderful family at home. We have a home, food, and everything we need. That’s a whole lot to be thankful for, yet I still just felt blah. Something must have changed, but what? The answer was a lot simpler than I could have imagined, and something that I (quite easily) may have never guessed.

The human body is an extremely complex network of systems and subsystems that work together in really amazing ways to keep us going every day. Science has come a long way in explaining exactly what it is that makes us tick, but there are some things that we just have to accept as true. I’m not going to break things down to a chemical level or give some detailed medical explanation here (mainly because I can’t), but what you put in to your body can have a huge affect on you. I’m not just talking about a purely physical affect either; your mental health can be just as affected by what you eat and drink as your physical health. Now I don’t have any fancy-schmansy book learnin’ or doctor’s degrees to back that up, but I HAVE sought solace in the occasional chocolate bar and felt the very soul soothing effect of a well prepared homemade meatloaf. The bitch of this is that there really is no formula for what foods are going to affect you in what ways. That’s just the price you pay for being a beautiful and unique snowflake, I’m afraid.

I know at this point you are just about pissing your pants to know what had me on the slow boat to Emoville. I’d be happy to tell you, but BAM….there’s a twist! It wasn’t just one thing. I’ll give the strong amongst you a moment to collect yourselves, as I am sure you are the only ones left after the heads of the weak literally exploded with that revelation. I’ve said before…countless times…to anyone that would listen or lacked the capacity to escape the sound of my voice…that I do not believe in diets or diet plans that exclude any foods or food groups completely. True, you should avoid some foods more than others but ignoring them completely just seems like bad news to me, especially if it’s something that occurs naturally in the world…like sugar. I’ve been so gung ho with all this new life stuff that I’ve started to naturally avoid anything sweet like it was some kind of dick-melting plague. That’s kind of good, I needed to eat less sweets but my body doesn’t react very well to not getting a little sugar fix every now and then. Sure, I’ve got my cheat days, but I use them mostly to go to restaurants or to eat pizza. Dessert has been completely neglected and my body and mind were pissed. I hit a small plateau with my weight loss during this time frame as well. I was still losing, but not at the same rate I was before. The same thing happened to me years ago when I was in boot camp and we were restricted from sweets. As soon as that restriction was lifted and my inner fat kid got to have a piece of cake one a week, the weight started coming off again. Same thing happened here. Had some cake and ice cream at a birthday party because my little “woah is me” kick was in full swing and I not only felt better but my weight loss got the kick in the junk it needed to get moving again. At this point I was feeling a little better, but something still wasn’t quite right.

To compensate for the lack of sweet, sweet sugar in my life I increased the amount of artificial sweetener I was ingesting. At first it was just two or three diet sodas a week, which didn’t seem so bad. As is generally the case with any bad habit, it started to creep up on me without me noticing. When I finally stepped back and took and objective look at it I was pounding two to three of these things a day. I was looking for excuses to go to the store at night so that I could pick one up and inhale it on the way home. I used to do the same thing with donuts…and years ago with cigarettes. Rule of thumb here, if you feel like you’ve got to hide it then you shouldn’t be doing it. There have been a lot of conflicting reports about the effects of artificial sweeteners which I think has a lot to do with what I said earlier about different people being affected differently by what they put in their bodies. For me it seems that large amounts of artificial sweetener make me a moody little bitch of a man and should probably be avoided in favor of black coffee, beef jerky, and rotgut whiskey.

Now let’s be clear, I’m not saying that you should eat a cupcake, ditch the diet soda, flush your Prozac down the toilet, and sing “tra-la-la” because everything is going to be peachy. There are a lot of factors involved in anyone’s mental state and what you put in your body is just part of it. If, however, you’re feeling down all of a sudden and you can’t think of anything that may be causing it, then it can’t hurt to take a look at any major changes to your diet that could be doing some weird shit to the chemical balance in your body. Or maybe you should just stop listening to The Cure so damn much.

Don't fight it

In life, I tend towards introspection. I often examine what I'm feeling, and why. Actually, I probably tend to over-examine. Perhaps it's a sign of some solipsistic tendencies, but I can only be sure of what I feel, so I spend a lot of time dwelling on that.

Yesterday, I had a sudden rush of "I'm back!". I was putzing around over the weekend, and decided to try shaming myself back into studying Portuguese by changing my gmail language setting to Brazilian Portuguese. Then I changed my whole computer's setting to the same. I came in to work yesterday and still felt pretty happy about making that small change, so I switched my phone to ptbr as well. Riding high on this wave of pseudo-accomplishment, I actually studied some Portuguese, if only to be able to pronounce the new words I was exposing myself to. Since I was actually putting in some time on a language-learning website, I checked out their Japanese section and did some studying there, too. Later, when a coworker asked if I felt like doing some stickfighting, I jumped at the chance.

This morning, after nearly two weeks off, I made sure to get my morning workout in. I lost a bit of progress, only managing 55 two-handed ghetobell swings in the first set, but I finished off with a bunch of rack and press of the 40lb kettlebell.

I don't know exactly what got me all motivated to get things going again. Normally, I'd push and prod at myself and try to figure out why I'm doing this, where the motivation came from. I'd look at it and see if it was likely to last or if it's just some weird momentary blip. This time, though, I think I'm just going to shut my inner analyst up and see where this takes me. There's no need to fight so hard when things are going your way. I'll save that energy for when the tide ebbs.

Know yourself...

Know yourself. Seems like really simple advice, especially when you're looking to make a life change. The problem is that we tend to get so caught up in trying to change who we are that we forget to take a look at who we are. This seems to hold true with every area of a lifestyle change, but most especially when it comes to diet. Diets, at least in the traditional sense, don't work. Sure, you can see short and even long term results from any number of "diets", but until you make a full on lifestyle change none of them are going to have any lasting effect. You can lose 50 pounds on a low/no carb diet, but as soon as you re-introduce carbs in to your life you are going to see every bit of that weight come back to you. If you can live the rest of your life that way then that's great, but I've got an inner fat kid that's always going to be there and if that little fucker doesn't get some cake every so often things get very unpleasant. Knowing and accepting these kinds of facts, as well as others relating to your day to day life, can mean the difference between lasting success or just another hurtful failure.

For those of you joining us for the first time, a quick recap. I'm a father of three, I have a pretty demanding full time job, and I go to school full time, add to that the fact that we have twins that will be making an appearance in a few months and we, as a family, stay pretty well busy all the damn time. When I find myself sitting around with what some people call "spare time" I always wonder what it is that I am am forgetting to do/neglecting. Basically, I'm really freaking busy all the time. As much as I would like to cut any kind of fast/pre-prepared foods out of my diet the sad truth is that I would likely be starving all the time. I pack a decent lunch and snacks before I leave for the gym in the morning. On nights I have school I even try to remember to pack dinner, but shit inevitably happens. I have to work late, forget to pack dinner, leave my whole pre-packed meal on the top of my car, realize that the apple I packed that morning that looked great in the four a.m. darkness has actually morphed in to some kind of sentient and angry hate fruit, etc. It's easy, in these situations, to just assume that there are not healthy and quick alternatives and run for the nearest mecca of saturated fat and shame. The worst part is, it's going to taste good. You're going to feel like eight pounds of shit fighting to cram it's way in to an extra small rubber, but dear god that sack full of grease laden shameburger was so....damn....good. So maybe next time you forget that lunch on purpose. Hell, maybe it's even a legitimate accident again, either way you're right back to the behaviors that got you all soggy around the middle in the first place. Kind of makes you feel bad for being busy all the time, doesn't it?

I'm sure we'd all like to have more free time to take care of our health in the best possible way, or to play golf and swill cheap scotch...I'm not here to judge. Being busy, however, is not an excuse to let things get out of control. Part of the problem seems to be rooted in campaigns to make us more aware of good eating habits. We've lumped all fast food in as the enemy, so the assumption becomes that it doesn't matter what you get, if it's fast food it's crap so you might as well just get whatever the hell you want. That's not at all accurate. Taco Bell has a "fresco" menu that is fairly reasonable health wise, 7-11 carries a really tasty Turkey Combo on brown bread that's under 300 calories, Wawa has several pre-packaged sandwiches that are under 300 calories (they even include a side of apple slices), Hardee's (aka, Carl's Jr.) has a turkey burger that is under 500 calories, and the list goes on and on. As a matter of fact, if you resist the urge to make it a combo at any of these places you save yourself about 500 calories just by ditching the fries. All of these places offer healthy alternatives, you just have to accept that they are there and make an effort to order them instead of typical fast food gut grenades. It's interesting to note that in a lot of cases these healthier alternatives actually taste better than the garbage that you used to shovel down your pie hole as well, and eventually you will come to prefer a chicken salad on whole wheat over a bacon cheese-burger dripping with barbeque sauce. Okay...so not every time. Sometimes you've just got to be bad, but you'll actually find yourself wanting the healthier alternative more often. You've just got to retrain yourself.

It's not easy to stay healthy when you have to grab a lot of meals on the go. Ideally we would be able to eat ever meal at home made from fresh ingredients and shared with our families. Unfortunately, that ideal is not possible for most people living in modern society. Being busy has become a way of life for most of us, but it's no excuse to toss your health down the crapper. Just know yourself and adjust accordingly.

Discouragement...

This morning was rough from the start. I didn’t want to get out of bed so I hit the snooze one extra time. Since then I’ve just kind of been dragging. Got to the gym and got started 20 minutes late. I didn’t so much attack things this morning as just went through the motions with my weight training. The cardio work out was outright tough and even the episode of Married with Children I watched on the little TV attached to the elliptical machine was lackluster. With all said and done it was just a blah workout, and that feeling has followed me throughout my morning so far. The weather is a perfect complement to the glum feeling too. Grey clouds are hanging low in the sky, bringing with them wind and occasional, completely random, smatterings of rain. It’s enough to make you put on some Morrissey and look for the nearest razor blade to remind yourself that you can still feel. That’s right, I said Morrissey, and you little EMO kids can take your My Chemical Romance and your Fallout Boy and piss right off. Okay, feeling a little better now.

The feelings themselves aren’t really the issue. Everyone has off days, and the weather outside can have all kinds of ill effects on a person’s mood. The problem is the discouragement that comes along with it. Personally, I’m at a very tenuous point in my life change here. I’ve started to see some results and not just a few tenths of a pound difference on the scale. My clothes fit better, I can see muscle definitions in places that I thought muscles feared now to tread, I feel much better in general, and my energy level is much higher. I’m still pretty far from my goal. To be fair, I had quite a long way to go, but I can’t tell myself not to get discouraged because I just got started. I also can’t fight it off by convincing myself that the end is in sight. I think that makes this a really hard time for a lot of people, you’re kind of at this middle ground where it’s just as easy to give up or cut back (the first step to giving up, truth be told) as it is to move forward. Days like today make that even harder. With everything being so blah, and the specter of a major gluttonous holiday looming just a day away what’s the point? Cutting back to just going to the gym three days this week isn’t going to hurt, right?

Wrong.

Admittedly you won’t see some huge negative impact the first week you decide to slack. Hell, you may not see any negative difference at all. As a result, hitting it so hard next week doesn’t seem like a big deal either. The week after that? Well, Christmas is only a few weeks away so I’ll get back on it after that. Maybe after New Years. All this sound familiar? If you’re actually reading this, then you’ve probably played out this little glutton’s drama more than once, undoing any progress you’ve made and making all your hard work a complete waste. You also know that with each week you put things off getting back on track is going to get harder and harder. So you’re going to have to be doing this every day for your entire life then, right?

0 for 2.

It’s not going to be like this forever, just until you reach your goal. Right now you’re trying to undo what are likely years (at least) of bad habits and poor decisions in regard to your health. Once you get where you want to be then all you have to do it maintain. Unfortunately there is no maintenance plan that includes watching Netflix and eating Cheetos for three hours a night, however maintaining weight and health is a lot easier than getting there to begin with. This part is hard, that is a no shit honest assessment. It’s a frustrating road and there are going to be loads of times where you just want to pack it all in and drown your sorrows in a pint of ice cream and deep fried don’t give a fuck, but even that serves a purpose. You are retraining yourself to make good health an ingrained part of your lifestyle. You also get the satisfaction of knowing that even though the weather was shit, you were tired, and the ghosts of turkey day delights to come are pole dancing around in your head like some kind of culinary porn you still dragged yourself though it and got yourself one step closer to where you want to be. You can’t be on it 100 percent every day, no one can, but you still made the effort and did what you had to do. You kind of kick ass like that.

Unless you didn't, in which case you can go join the EMO kids crying it out over there in teh corner.

Partial Success?

It's been a rough year, for a couple very personal reasons. Let's gloss over all the massive failure, though, and focus on the positive.

Back in early July, I got food poisoning. Seriously, that's about as positive as things get this year. Because, you see, that was the catalyst that got me started on some actual weight loss. I spent about 2 days puking my guts out, which naturally caused me to lose a little weight. Normally, one would gain it all right back. It also managed to shrink my stomach a little, so I got full faster. I made a conscious decision to stick with with small meals, in hopes that I could at least keep my sick weight off.

Also, around the same time, my work schedule changed to nights. I was working from 2pm to midnight, 4 nights a week. There's a lot more slack in the night schedule, so I was able to carve out some time to work out. Since my martial arts training had been getting stagnant, I decided to work out on the heavy bag in the dance studio downstairs. Starting with 5 two minute rounds and 1 minute of rest between rounds, I managed to work my way up to 6 two minute rounds, then to 5 three minute rounds. I was starting to feel strong and fast again, like the old days. Then, suddenly, the heavy bag disappeared. I guess it was getting in the way of people actually dancing in the dance studio.

Disheartened, I started using the elliptical machines in the gym at work. I stuck with the 5 x three minute format, walking slowly for the rest period and running as fast as I could for the work period. The elliptical machine just didn't have the same entertainment value as beating the stuffing out of the heavy bag, though, so I eventually got bored with it.

This was about the time I decided to try the Slow Carb diet from "The 4 Hour Body". I also decided to pick up kettlebell lifting, since it's something I'd long been interested in. The diet seems to be more or less working. When I can stick to it, I lose some weight. Even when I go off the rails a bit, I don't gain any weight, and I'm eating quite a bit more than I did over the summer when I lost ~10kg. At this point, I'm about 13kg down from my July 4th weight. I probably still have another 20kg left to go, but the kettlebell work has also been packing on some muscle.

I've only been doing the two handed kettlebell swing, as recommended in 4HB. It's quick, and the form is not terribly difficult to learn by yourself. Especially if you've ever deadlifted. As I have not done a deadlift since my senior year of high school (has it really been over 15 years?), I took the first few days slowly. Since I didn't want to shell out big money for a real kettlebell when I wasn't even sure I'd stick with it, I made a ghettobell out of some weight plates and some parts from Home Depot. The first two weeks, I made slow progress, concentrating on my form. I had a difficult time hitting 50 reps, even in two or three sets. Then, suddenly, gains starting happening faster and faster. On my last workout, I hit 80 reps in the first set, then another 25 in the second set. My current goal is to be able to do 100 reps in one set. Once I get there, I'm going to add another 10lb plate to the bell and work my way back up. I also just rewarded myself with a real kettlebell, this one 40lbs, so I can do some one handed exercises.

All the kettlebell lifting is doing wonders for me. My thighs, calves, and forearms are noticeably more defined than they were before I started lifting. It's also helped straighten out my posture. Like most computer geeks, I tend to hunch over a lot. Now my shoulders naturally pull back a bit more, straightening out my spine when I sit and walk.

So, that's what I've been up to. Not anywhere near the big plans I had at the beginning of the year. I don't see me getting to the 60 or 70% mark on my goals this time around. But, and this is the important bit, I have made some progress. I feel a lot better physically, and that's having a positive impact on my mental health too. Maybe I'll feel good enough by New Year's to put up new goals, or even re-tackle the goals for this year that went nowhere.

Reflections...

I used to read this Men’s magazine. Not the nudey kind, but one of the one centered around health and fitness. I had a subscription, frequented their website, and read their advice about how I should work out, what I should eat, and how I should bang my wife. It all sounded great, and the payoffs seemed amazing. Shit, just looking at the magazine editor himself was enough to make you feel like you were being handed the recipie from ambrosia from the hands of one of the gods made flesh. Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but the guy is in shape. Why wouldn’t he, and his team of crack writers, be an excellent source when it comes to how to whip my fat ass back in to shape? I was jazzed. I was psyched. I was going to DO this. I was going to start right NO-…wait…no....that’s not going to work. I’ve got to get a gym membership first. That’s going to have to wait until payday, BUT RIGHT AFT-. No..wait. The diet in here is pretty specialized, that’s going to take a trip to the grocery store. Not Food Dog either, I’m going to have to go that really expensive one that the stuck up parents from my daughter’s middle school talk about. That’s probably going to have to wait until the NEXT payday since I’ve got to get that gym membership. But right after THA-. Oh, I should probably work with a personal trainer when I start to make sure I don’t hurt myself working with the weights. Ummm…I guess I could shuffle some money around, but where the hell am I even going to find the time for this. I’ve got work, school, three kids, a wife, and a dog that all need my attention and what’s left of my paycheck. Well. Fuck.

Surprise! The guys who write these articles and edit these magazines get paid money to do this stuff for a living, and far more than I do. So they have more money and they don’t need to pry the time out of the cold, dead fingers of a load of other obligations. They talk about the time and money that it takes to accomplish these things like they are nothing, when in reality they are they are the most precious of commodities to most people. Not only do they get paid to do this shit so they can write about it, but they have people falling all over themselves to give them free stuff in hopes that they will plug them in some article. Gym memberships, supplements, gym clothes, specialized equipment, etc. Being fit and telling you how they got there is literally their JOB. It’s super easy to tell people how to get as fit as you are when all that crap is just handed to you. If you’ve got the money and the time to follow along with these guys, then I really hope you have something better to do than listen to me bitch; if you’re like me me, however, and have a job, family, and a real life to worry about then you just can’t live life like these guys.

Then there’s the other end of the spectrum. Six minute this, and lounge that, and electrocute-the fuck-out-of-yourself quick solutions that will give you big results with a minimum amount of time and effort. Tons of now hot women can’t wait to tell you how big a difference it’s made and how much it turns them on that you want to try it too. Buff guys standing next to horrific “before” pictures flexing and showing you the kind of man you want to be. All of these people standing there without a flaw, stretch mark, or fat flap even though they’ve lost over eighty pounds. So not only will you lose a ton of weight with these diets/pills/programs/torture devices/masturbatory aids, but they are old magic that can completely violate the laws of physical science. Fuck yea! I’m sure those people aren’t paid, right? They just believe in the product so much that they’ve just got to get up there wearing next to nothing and give you physical proof of this mind-blowing awesomeness, right? Right? You were so busy with your head full of thoughts about where you’re going to buy all your new clothes and how you’re going to fight off all the ladies that you missed the part where they said “combined with diet and exercise” or “has been known to cause cramping, tarry stools, and erectile dysfunction or asshole cancer or something” or my favorite, “results not typical”. What. The. Hell. You mean I can’t really get kick ass results without devoting some time, effort, or money in to what I’m doing? You suck. I don’t like your answers.

Truth is, you’re going to have to part with something. Anything worth having is going to require some level of sacrifice on your part, but you shouldn’t have to quit your job and sell a kidney (but if you want to, I know a guy) just to make it happen either. The only time I have that I’m not nuts in a vice busy lately is when I’m sleeping, so when I finally made a decision to do something real about my ever-expanding ass that’s where I stole the time from. 4 am is a bitch of a time to have to get up every morning, but looking in my closet and seeing that I can’t wear over half of the clothes I own any more is worse. So were the test results from the doctor saying that I am on a collision course with diabetes. Time isn’t the only thing that you’re going to have to sacrifice. Eating healthy can be more expensive than eating crap all the time, and if you’re like me trying to exercise at home just isn’t going to work for you. You don’t need a membership to some mega-gym and a personal trainer. We have a membership to an organization that offers a lot for the whole family to do, as well as an initial consultation to give you some guidance with your workout plan, and you’re going to need guidance. I thought I was pretty well versed in health and nutrition from all the reading I had done and one good health kick a few years ago that lost me about 30 pounds so I didn’t bother with the whole free fitness orientation thing. The first three weeks went by and I had lost exactly dick.5 pounds. I got a little frustrated and went to the orientation. Two weeks later I’m down five pounds and feeling better than I have in ages. If you think you know what you’re doing, you probably don’t. That’s fine, not a lot of people do, just get some help.

It’s not easy, but seeing the progress makes it easier. Food is a whole different topic all together, and while I’m sure that each and every one of you is completely enraptured by what I have to say I’m going to have to save that one for another day.

Getting back on track...

I've managed to make it up and make it to the gym the last three mornings in a row, well on the way to becoming an actual habit. I've tried this a few times before and I always go after it pretty hard for the first few days and then make some excuse to take a day off...then another one...then another one. I've done the same with food. Make good choices for a day or two and then "reward" myself right up to a shocking and unacceptable weight. I think the problem with my approach in the past has been that I try to do too much to start so I get tired of it really quickly. I do this because I'm results driven and impatient. If I don't see a change within a few days I'm ready to throw my hands up, say "What's the point", park my ass in front of the TV and chase a chocolate eclair with a margarita. This time it has to be different.

I gave myself a week to mentally prepare and to start to incorporate better health in to my daily life. I've subscribed to a few mailing lists and have actually been reading the things that I get from them. I took the time to accept the fact that I may not see immediate results and that I needed to start slowly to keep from burning out. I started Monday with 40 minutes of light cardio. Tuesday was light weights for the upper body. Today was another light cardio session. It seems kind of weak, but it's an immeasurable improvement over what life was like for me last week. Baby steps. I don't want this to be something I do temporarily, like means to an end. I want to make permanent changes to the way that I live my life in general. Hopefully taking the time to establish all of this and prepare myself for a slow transition that will make for a healthier me and a better quality of life. I like that the thought of that quite a lot.

Whoa

Kanji

I think I just time-traveled. I don't remember much between my last post and this one, yet it's almost February. Shit.

Immediately after my mom went back home, my laptop died. I'm sure the events are completely unrelated, but it still made it really difficult to post. Sure, I could have done it with my phone, but that's still no fun for writing anything of substantial length.

With no ability to post, and thus, no public shaming for missing my goals, it was too easy to slack off. I mostly managed to keep up with kanji and Portuguese, but even those slipped a little. My exercise routine suffered most. As in, I never got back to it after that first 4 day cycle. *Sigh*. Okay, I'm back, I promise this time. Laptop is in fine working condition, and my wife is losing weight like crazy. It's time to get to work.

The ray of sunshine has been my martial arts training. It looks like I might be hosting an official Atienza Training Group session sometime in the spring. I'm pretty excited, but now I have to get people to attend. I've already got two definite yes's at work, and I'm going to force Kyushu-Taka to attend, whether he can pay or not. I've put some money away so I can make this happen with or without enough attendees, but more attendees means a better chance of a second one of these happening later this year.

I've also expanded my training schedule. We now do a knife session on Sundays at work with a couple of the guys I work with. Thursdays we train in the parking garage behind the building Kyushu-Taka works in, while my youngest son is in preschool. Yep, that makes a whopping four days a week of training now. They're not full hour sessions, and since they're almost all at work, we can't go hard enough to get all sweaty and tired, but I haven't trained with this frequency since before I had kids. It feels good to be able to train this much again.

Day Two...

Feeling pretty good about today. Did thirty min on some machine at the Y this morning that can only be described as the bastard child born of a four way between an elliptical machine, a cross trainer, a StairMaster, and the great Satan herself...but it had a TV built in to it so it wasn't too bad.

Tonight was the Cardio and Ab Ripper sections of Power90. The cardio seemed easier than the sculpting. The Ab portion left my Abs feeling less "ripped" and more "pummeled with a hammer" but it's obviously doing it's job.

Today was easy due in part to the fact that I had the day off. Now that I'm heading back to a normal work schedule tomorrow I'm a little worried I might fall off track.

Gonna pick the Brazilian Portuguese back up tomorrow morning too.